You Should ________________ What the Writer Is Trying to Say Before Offering Your Suggestions

Chapter 12. Peer Review and Final Revisions

12.1 Revision

Learning Objectives

• Identify major areas of business in the draft essay during revising
• Use peer reviews and checklists to help revising
• Revise your newspaper to improve organization and cohesion
• Make up one's mind an appropriate style and tone for your newspaper
• Revise to ensure that your tone is consequent
• Revise the kickoff draft of your essay and produce a final typhoon

Revising and editing are the two tasks you undertake to significantly improve your essay. Both are very important elements of the writing procedure. You lot may think that a completed first typhoon means that piddling improvement is needed. However, even experienced writers demand to improve their drafts and rely on peers during revising and editing. You may know that athletes miss catches, fumble assurance, or overshoot goals. Dancers forget steps, turn too slowly, or miss beats. For both athletes and dancers, the more than they practice, the stronger their performance will become. Web designers seek meliorate images, a more clever blueprint, or a more highly-seasoned background for their web pages. Writing has the aforementioned chapters to profit from improvement and revision.

Y'all should revise and edit in stages: do not wait to take hold of everything in 1 go. If each time you review your essay you focus on a dissimilar aspect of construction, you will be more than likely to catch any mistakes or identify whatever issues. Throughout this chapter, you volition encounter a number of checklists containing specific things to await for with each revision. For case, you lot will first await at how the overall paper and your ideas are organized.

In the 2d section of this chapter, you will focus more on editing: correcting the mechanical issues. Also at the stop of the affiliate, you will see a comprehensive but more general list of things y'all should be looking for.

Understanding the Purpose of Revising and Editing

Revising and editing allow you to examine 2 important aspects of your writing separately, and then that y'all tin give each task your undivided attention.

When you lot revise , y'all take a second look at your ideas. You might add together, cut, move, or change information in order to make your ideas clearer, more accurate, more interesting, or more disarming.

When you edit , you accept a second look at how y'all expressed your ideas. You add or change words. Y'all prepare any problems in grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure. You meliorate your writing style. You brand your essay into a polished, mature piece of writing, the end product of your best efforts.

Tip

How practice you get the all-time out of your revisions and editing? Here are some strategies that writers have developed to await at their outset drafts from a fresh perspective. Try them throughout the writing procedure; then keep using the ones that bring results.

Accept a suspension. You are proud of what you wrote, but yous might be too close to it to make changes. Set up aside your writing for a few hours or even a twenty-four hours until you can await at it objectively.

Enquire someone yous trust for feedback and constructive criticism.

Pretend yous are 1 of your readers. Are you satisfied or dissatisfied? Why?

For many people, the wordscritic,critical, andcriticism provoke merely negative feelings that make them blush, grumble, or shout. Withal, as a writer and a thinker, you need to learn to be disquisitional of yourself in a positive way and have high expectations for your work. Y'all too demand to train your centre and trust your power to fix what needs fixing. To practice this, you need to teach yourself where to expect.

Revising Your Paper: Organization , Cohesion , and Unity

When writing a research paper, it is easy to become overly focused on editorial details, such equally the proper format for bibliographical entries. These details do matter. However, before you begin to address them, information technology is important to spend time reviewing and revising the content of the newspaper.

A good enquiry paper is both organized and cohesive.Organization means that your argument flows logically from one point to the next.Cohesion ways that the elements of your paper work together smoothly and naturally. In a cohesive research paper, information from enquiry is seamlessly integrated with the writer'south ideas.

Revise to Improve Organisation

When yous revise to ameliorate organization, you look at the flow of ideas throughout the essay as a whole and within private paragraphs. Yous check to run into that your essay moves logically from the introduction to the body paragraphs to the conclusion, and that each section reinforces your thesis. Use Checklist 12.ane : Revise for Organization to aid you.

Checklist 12.1 : Revise for Organisation

At the essay level

Does my introduction proceed clearly from the opening to the thesis?

Does each body paragraph take a clear main idea that relates to the thesis?

Exercise the principal ideas in the trunk paragraphs menstruation in a logical society? Is each paragraph connected to the i earlier information technology?

Practise I need to add or revise topic sentences or transitions to brand the overall flow of ideas clearer?

Does my conclusion summarize my principal ideas and revisit my thesis?

At the paragraph level

Does the topic sentence clearly state the main idea?

Exercise the details in the paragraph chronicle to the main thought?

Do I need to recast whatsoever sentences or add transitions to amend the flow of sentences?

Jorge reread his draft paragraph by paragraph. Equally he read, he highlighted the main thought of each paragraph and so he could come across whether his ideas proceeded in a logical society. For the most part, the menstruum of ideas was articulate. However, he did notice that one paragraph did not have a clear primary thought. Information technology interrupted the menstruum of the writing. During revision, Jorge added a topic judgement that clearly connected the paragraph to the one that had preceded it. He besides added transitions to ameliorate the flow of ideas from sentence to sentence.

Read the following paragraphs twice, the outset fourth dimension without Jorge's changes, and the second time with them.

Cocky – practice Do 12.one

Follow these steps to begin revising your paper'due south overall organization.

Print out a hard copy of your newspaper. (You will use this for multiple self-practice exercises in this chapter.)

Read your paper paragraph by paragraph. Highlight your thesis and the topic sentence of each paragraph.

Using the thesis and topic sentences as starting points, outline the ideas y'all presented—but as y'all would do if yous were outlining a chapter in a textbook. Do not await at the outline you created during prewriting. Y'all may write in the margins of your typhoon or create a formal outline on a separate sail of paper.

Next, reread your newspaper more slowly, looking for how ideas flow from sentence to sentence. Identify places where adding a transition or recasting a sentence would make the ideas flow more than logically.

Review the topics on your outline. Is there a logical flow of ideas? Place any places where you may need to reorganize ideas.

Brainstorm to revise your paper to amend organization. Start with any major bug, such as needing to motion an unabridged paragraph. Then proceed to pocket-size revisions, such as adding a transitional phrase or tweaking a topic sentence so it connects ideas more clearly.

Optional collaboration: P lease share your paper with a classmate. Repeat the half-dozen steps and take notes on a split up piece of newspaper. Share and compare notes.

Tip

Writers cull transitions advisedly to bear witness the relationships between ideas—for case, to make a comparison or elaborate on a point with examples. Make sure your transitions suit your purpose and avoid overusing the aforementioned ones.

Creating Coherence

Careful writers employ transitions to clarify how the ideas in their sentences and paragraphs are related. These words and phrases help the writing menses smoothly. Adding transitions is not the only way to improve coherence, but they are often useful and give a mature experience to your essays. Earlier capacity have discussed using transitions for specific purposes in the planning of your writing.Table 12.1: Common Transitional Words and Phrases groups many common transitions co-ordinate to their purpose.

Table 12.1: Common Transitional Words and Phrases According to Purpose

Transitions That Show Sequence or Fourth dimension
afterward	earlier	later
afterward	earlier long	meanwhile
as soon as	finally	next
at kickoff	first, second, third	soon
at last	in the kickoff place	then
Transitions That Bear witness Position
in a higher place	across	at the bottom
at the acme	behind	below
beside	beyond	inside
near	next to	opposite
to the left, to the right, to the side	under	where
Transitions That Bear witness a Conclusion
indeed	hence	in decision
in the concluding analysis	therefore	thus
Transitions That Continue a Line of Idea
consequently	furthermore	additionally
considering	as well the fact	following this thought farther
in addition	in the aforementioned manner	moreover
looking further	because…, it is articulate that
Transitions That Change a Line of Thought
but	yet	however
notwithstanding	on the contrary	on the other manus
Transitions That Show Importance
higher up all	all-time	specially
in fact	more important	>near important
most	worst
Transitions That Introduce the Final Thoughts in a Paragraph or Essay
finally	last	in conclusion
most of all	least of all	terminal of all
All Purpose Transitions to Open up Paragraphs or to Connect Ideas Inside Paragraphs
admittedly	at this bespeak	certainly
granted	it is true	more often than not speaking
in full general	in this situation	no incertitude
no one denies	plainly	of course
to be sure	undoubtedly	unquestionably
Transitions that Introduce Examples
for example	for example	such as
Transitions That Clarify the Order of Events or Steps
first, second, 3rd	more often than not, furthermore, finally	in the kickoff place, also, last
in the first identify, furthermore, finally	in the first place, besides, lastly

When Mariah (who y'all were introduced to in Chapters five and 6) revised her essay for unity, she examined her paragraph about televisions to check for coherence. She looked for places where she needed to add a transition or perhaps reword the text to make the flow of ideas articulate. In the version that follows, she has already deleted the sentences that were off topic.

Tip

Many writers make their revisions on a printed copy and then transfer them to the version on screen. They conventionally utilise a small-scale arrow called a caret (^) to show where to insert an improver or correction.

Self – practice EXERCISE 12.2

Answer the following questions about Mariah's revised paragraph.

Practise yous agree with the transitions and other changes that Mariah fabricated to her paragraph? Which would y'all keep and which were unnecessary? Explicate.

What transition words or phrases did Mariah add together to her paragraph? Why did she choose each one?

What upshot does calculation additional sentences have on the coherence of the paragraph? Explain. When yous read both versions aloud, which version has a more logical flow of ideas? Explain.

Revise to Improve Cohesion

When you revise to meliorate cohesion, you analyze how the parts of your newspaper work together. You await for anything that seems bad-mannered or out of place. Revision may involve deleting unnecessary material or rewriting parts of the paper so that the out of identify material fits in smoothly.

In a inquiry paper, problems with cohesion usually occur when a writer has trouble integrating source material. If facts or quotations have been awkwardly dropped into a paragraph, they distract or confuse the reader instead of working to support the writer's point. Overusing paraphrased and quoted material has the same upshot. Employ Checklist 12.2 : Revise for Cohesion to review your essay for cohesion.

Checklist 12.two : Revise for Cohesion

Does the opening of the newspaper clearly connect to the broader topic and thesis? Make sure entertaining quotes or anecdotes serve a purpose.

Have I included support from inquiry for each main signal in the torso of my newspaper?

Have I included introductory material before any quotations? Quotations should never stand alone in a paragraph.

Does paraphrased and quoted fabric clearly serve to develop my ain points?

Do I need to add together to or revise parts of the paper to aid the reader empathise how certain data from a source is relevant?

Are there whatever places where I have overused material from sources?

Does my determination make sense based on the rest of the paper? Make sure whatever new questions or suggestions in the conclusion are clearly linked to earlier cloth.

As Jorge reread his draft, he looked to encounter how the different pieces fit together to prove his thesis. He realized that some of his supporting information needed to exist integrated more carefully and decided to omit some details entirely. Read the following paragraph, first without Jorge's revisions and then with them.

Jorge decided that his annotate about pizza and altogether cake came across as subjective and was not necessary to make his point, so he deleted it. He also realized that the quotation at the cease of the paragraph was awkward and ineffective. How would his readers know who Kwon was or why her opinion should be taken seriously? Adding an introductory phrase helped Jorge integrate this quotation smoothly and establish the credibility of his source.

Self – practice Practise 12.iii

Follow these steps to begin revising your paper to better cohesion.

Print out a hard copy of your paper, or work with your printout fromCocky – Practice Exercise 12.1.

Read the body paragraphs of your newspaper first. Each time y'all come to a place that cites information from sources, ask yourself what purpose this information serves. Check that it helps support a betoken and that it is clearly related to the other sentences in the paragraph.

Place unnecessary information from sources that you can delete.

Identify places where you need to revise your writing so that readers understand the significance of the details cited from sources.

Skim the body paragraphs in one case more, looking for any paragraphs that seem packed with citations. Review these paragraphs carefully for cohesion.

Review your introduction and decision. Brand sure the information presented works with ideas in the trunk of the paper.

Revise the places you identified in your paper to improve cohesion.

Optional c ollaboration: P lease commutation papers with a classmate. Complete step iv . On a separate slice of paper, note any areas that would benefit from clarification. Render and compare notes.

Writing at Work

Understanding cohesion can besides benefit you in the workplace, especially when you lot have to write and deliver a presentation. Speakers sometimes rely on beautiful graphics or funny quotations to hold their audience's attention. If you lot choose to employ these elements, make sure they work well with the substantive content of your presentation. For example, if you are asked to requite a financial presentation, and the financial report shows that the company lost money, funny illustrations would not be relevant or appropriate for the presentation.

Tip

Reading your writing aloud will oft help you lot find problems with unity and coherence. Listen for the clarity and period of your ideas. Identify places where you find yourself confused, and write a note to yourself nearly possible fixes.

Creating Unity

Sometimes writers get caught up in the moment and cannot resist a skilful digression. Even though you might enjoy such detours when y'all chat with friends, unplanned digressions usually harm a piece of writing.

Post-obit your outline closely offers you a reasonable guarantee that your writing volition stay on purpose and not migrate away from the controlling thought. Yet, when writers are rushed, are tired, or cannot find the right words, their writing may get less than they want it to be. Their writing may no longer be clear and concise, and they may add together information that is not needed to develop the main thought.

When a piece of writing hasunity, all the ideas in each paragraph and in the unabridged essay conspicuously belong and are arranged in an order that makes logical sense. When the writing hascoherence, the ideas flow smoothly. The wording conspicuously indicates how one idea leads to some other within a paragraph and from paragraph to paragraph.

Mariah stayed close to her outline when she drafted the iii body paragraphs of her essay she tentatively titled "Digital Engineering science: The Newest and the Best at What Price?" Merely a contempo shopping trip for an HDTV upset her enough that she digressed from the master topic of her third paragraph and included comments about the sales staff at the electronics store she visited. When she revised her essay, she deleted the off-topic sentences that affected the unity of the paragraph.

Read the following paragraph twice, the first time without Mariah'due south changes and the second time with them.

Self – practice EXERCISE 12.4

Answer the following two questions about Mariah's paragraph:

Practice yous agree with Mariah's decision to brand the deletions she fabricated? Did she cut also much, too little, or simply enough? Explain.

Is the explanation of what screen resolution means a digression? Or is it audience friendly and essential to understanding the paragraph? Explain.

Collaboration: P charter share with a classmate and compare your answers.

At present, print out another copy of your essay or use the printed version(s) yous used in Self – Practise Exercises 12.1 and 12.iii . Reread it to find any statements that bear on the unity of your writing. Decide how best to revise.

Tip

When you reread your writing to discover revisions to make, expect for each blazon of problem in a divide sweep. Read it straight through once to locate whatsoever problems with unity. Read it straight through a second fourth dimension to find problems with coherence. You may follow this same practice during many stages of the writing process.

Writing at Work

Many companies hire re-create editors and proofreaders to help them produce the cleanest possible final drafts of big writing projects. Copy editors are responsible for suggesting revisions and style changes; proofreaders check documents for whatsoever errors in capitalization, spelling, and punctuation that have crept in. Many times, these tasks are done on a freelance basis, with one freelancer working for a diverseness of clients.

Using a Consistent Style and Tone

Once you lot are certain that the content of your paper fulfills your purpose, you can begin revising to improvemanner andtone. Together, your style and tone create the voice of your paper, or how you come across to readers. Fashion refers to the way you utilise language as a writer—the sentence structures you use and the word choices you make. Tone is the attitude toward your subject and audience that y'all convey through your discussion option.

Determining an Advisable Style and Tone

Although accepted writing styles volition vary within dissimilar disciplines, the underlying goal is the same—to come across to your readers every bit a knowledgeable, authoritative guide. Writing about enquiry is like existence a bout guide who walks readers through a topic. A stuffy, overly formal tour guide can make readers experience put off or intimidated. Too much informality or humour can brand readers wonder whether the tour guide actually knows what he or she is talking about. Extreme or emotionally charged language comes beyond equally unbalanced.

To help prevent being overly formal or informal, determine an appropriate way and tone at the outset of the research process. Consider your topic and audience because these can help dictate style and tone. For example, a paper on new breakthroughs in cancer research should exist more than formal than a paper on ways to get a good night's slumber.

A stiff research newspaper comes across every bit straightforward, accordingly academic, and serious. It is generally best to avoid writing in the kickoff person, as this can make your paper seem overly subjective and stance based. Use Checklist 12.iii : Revise for Manner to review your newspaper for other issues that affect style and tone. You can cheque for consistency at the end of the writing procedure. Checking for consistency is discussed later in this section.

Checklist 12.3 : Revise for Style

My paper avoids excessive wordiness.

My sentences are varied in length and structure.

I take avoided using first person pronouns such as I and nosotros.

I have used the active voice whenever possible.

I have divers specialized terms that might exist unfamiliar to readers.

I have used clear, straightforward language whenever possible and avoided unnecessary jargon.

My newspaper states my point of view using a balanced tone—neither too indecisive nor too forceful.

Give-and-take Choice

Note that discussion choice is an especially important attribute of style. In improver to checking the points noted on Checklist 12.3, review your paper to brand sure your language is precise, conveys no unintended connotations, and is complimentary of bias. Here are some of the points to check for:

Vague or imprecise terms

Slang

Repetition of the same phrases ("Smith states…, Jones states…") to introduce quoted and paraphrased fabric (For a full list of strong verbs to use with in text citations, seeChapter 9: Citations and Referencing.)

Exclusive employ of masculine pronouns or awkward employ ofhe or she

Apply of language with negative connotations, such as haughty or ridiculous

Use of outdated or offensive terms to refer to specific ethnic, racial, or religious groups

Tip

Using plural nouns and pronouns or recasting a sentence tin can help you go on your linguistic communication gender neutral while avoiding awkwardness. Consider the following examples.

• Gender biased : When a author cites a source in the body of his paper, he must list it on his references page.
• Awkward : When a writer cites a source in the body of his or her paper, he or she must list information technology on his or her references page.
• Improved : Writers must list any sources cited in the torso of a paper on the references page.

Keeping Your Way Consistent

As you revise your paper, make sure your style is consistent throughout. Look for instances where a word, phrase, or judgement does not seem to fit with the residue of the writing. It is best to reread for style after you have completed the other revisions so that you are non distracted by whatsoever larger content issues. Revising strategies y'all tin can utilize include the following:

Read your paper aloud. Sometimes your ears grab inconsistencies that your eyes miss.

Share your paper with another reader whom you trust to give you honest feedback. It is often hard to evaluate i'due south own style objectively—especially in the final phase of a challenging writing project. Another reader may be more than likely to notice instances of wordiness, confusing linguistic communication, or other issues that touch way and tone.

E dit your paper slowly, sentence by sentence. You may even wish to employ a canvass of paper to encompass up everything on the page except the paragraph you are editing. This practice forces y'all to read slowly and carefully. Mark whatever areas where you lot discover bug in style or tone, and then have fourth dimension to rework those sections.

On reviewing his paper, Jorge found that he had generally used an appropriately academic manner and tone. However, he noticed 1 glaring exception—his first paragraph. He realized there were places where his overly informal writing could come across every bit unserious or, worse, disparaging. Revising his give-and-take pick and omitting a humorous bated helped Jorge maintain a consistent tone. Read his revisions.

Self – practise EXERCISE 12.five

Using Checklist 12.iii : Revise for Style , revise your newspaper line by line. You may apply either of these techniques:

Print out a hard copy of your newspaper or piece of work with your printout fromSelf – Exercise Exercise 12.1. Read it line by line. Check for the issues noted on Checklist 12.three, too every bit any other aspects of your writing style you take previously identified as areas for improvement. Mark whatever areas where you notice issues in style or tone, and so have time to rework those sections.

If y'all prefer to work with an electronic document, use the carte options in your word processing programme to enlarge the text to 150 or 200 percent of the original size. Make certain the blazon is big enough that you can focus on one paragraph at a time. Read the paper line by line as described in pace one. Highlight any areas where you notice issues in mode or tone, and then accept time to rework those sections.

Optional c ollaboration: P charter substitution papers with a classmate. On a separate piece of paper, note places where the essay does non seem to flow or you have questions well-nigh what was written. Render the essay and compare notes.

Completing a Peer Review

After working so closely with a piece of writing, writers often need to stride dorsum and ask for a more objective reader. What writers demand most is feedback from readers who can respond only to the words on the page. When they are ready, writers show their drafts to someone they respect and who can give an honest response about its strengths and weaknesses.

You, also, tin can ask a peer to read your draft when it is ready. After evaluating the feedback and assessing what is well-nigh helpful, the reader'southward feedback will help you lot when you revise your draft. This procedure is chosenpeer review.

Y'all can piece of work with a partner in your class and identify specific ways to strengthen each other's essays. Although you may be uncomfortable sharing your writing at commencement, remember that each writer is working toward the same goal: a concluding typhoon that fits the audition and the purpose. Maintaining a positive mental attitude when providing feedback will put yous and your partner at ease. The box that follows provides a useful framework for the peer review session.

Questions for Peer Review: Organisation, Unity, and Coherence

Title of essay: ____________________________________________

Date: ____________________________________________

Author'southward name: ____________________________________________

Peer reviewer'due south name: _________________________________________

This essay is about____________________________________________.

Your principal points in this essay are____________________________________________.

What I nigh liked nearly this essay is____________________________________________.

These 3 points struck me as your strongest:

Betoken: ____________________________________________
Why: ____________________________________________

Point: ____________________________________________
Why: ____________________________________________

Point: ____________________________________________
Why: ____________________________________________

These places in your essay are not clear to me:

Where: ____________________________________________
Needs improvement because__________________________________________

Where: ____________________________________________
Needs improvement because ____________________________________________

Where: ____________________________________________

Needs improvement because ____________________________________________

The ane additional change you could brand that would better this essay significantly is ____________________________________________.

Writing at Piece of work

1 of the reasons why give-and-take processing programs build in a reviewing feature is that work groups have become a common characteristic in many businesses. Writing is often collaborative, and the members of a work group and their supervisors oftentimes critique group members' work and offer feedback that will lead to a better concluding product.

Self – practice Exercise 12.vi

Commutation essays with a classmate and complete a peer review of each other's draft in progress. Retrieve to requite positive feedback and to be courteous and polite in your responses. Focus on providing one positive comment and i question for more information to the writer.

Using Feedback Objectively

The purpose of peer feedback is to receive constructive criticism of your essay. Your peer reviewer is your outset existent audience, and y'all have the opportunity to larn what confuses and delights a reader so that you can improve your work earlier sharing the final typhoon with a wider audience (or your intended audience).

It may non be necessary to incorporate every recommendation your peer reviewer makes. Notwithstanding, if you get-go to detect a design in the responses you lot receive from peer reviewers, yous might desire to consider that feedback in future assignments. For example, if yous read consistent comments almost a need for more than inquiry, and then you may desire to consider including more research in future assignments.

Using Feedback from Multiple Sources

You might get feedback from more than one reader equally you share different stages of your revised draft. In this state of affairs, y'all may receive feedback from readers who practice non sympathize the assignment or who lack your involvement with and enthusiasm for it.

Yous need to evaluate the responses y'all receive according to ii important criteria:

Determine if the feedback supports the purpose of the assignment.

Decide if the suggested revisions are advisable to the audience.

Then, using these standards, accept or turn down revision feedback.

Self – practise Practise 12.7

Consider the feedback you received from the peer review and all of the revision exercises throughout this department. Compile a concluding draft of your revisions that you can use in the next section to complete your final edits.

Fundamental Takeaways

• Revising and editing are the stages of the writing process in which you lot improve your piece of work earlier producing a last draft.
• Unity in writing ways that all the ideas in each paragraph and in the entire essay clearly belong together and are arranged in an order that makes logical sense.
• Coherence in writing means that the writer's wording clearly indicates how one idea leads to another within a paragraph and between paragraphs.
• Transitional words and phrases finer make writing more coherent.
• Writing should be clear and concise, with no unnecessary words.
• Effective formal writing uses specific, advisable words and avoids slang, contractions, clichés, and overly general words.
• Peer reviews, done properly, can give writers objective feedback nearly their writing. It is the author'southward responsibility to evaluate the results of peer reviews and incorporate but useful feedback.

12.2 Editing and Developing a Final Draft of a Inquiry Newspaper

Learning Objectives

• Edit your paper to ensure that language, citations, and formatting are correct

Given all the time and effort yous have put into your research newspaper, you will desire to make certain that your terminal draft represents your best work. This requires taking the time to revise and edit your paper carefully.

You may feel similar y'all need a break from your newspaper before you edit it. That feeling is understandable, so you desire to be certain to leave yourself enough fourth dimension to complete this important stage of the writing process. This department presents a number of opportunities for you to focus on different aspects of the editing procedure; as with revising a draft, you lot should approach editing in dissimilar stages.

Some of the content in this section may seem repetitive, just over again, it provides yous with a chance to double-check any revisions you take made at a detailed level.

Editing Your Draft

If you have been incorporating each set of revisions as Mariah and Jorge accept, you have produced multiple drafts of your writing. So far, all your changes have been content changes. Perchance with the help of peer feedback, you have made certain that you lot sufficiently supported your ideas. You take checked for problems with unity and coherence. You have examined your essay for word choice, revising to cut unnecessary words and to replace weak wording with specific and appropriate diction.

The side by side step after revising the content is editing. When you edit, you examine the surface features of your text. Y'all examine your spelling, grammer, usage, and punctuation. Yous also brand sure you use the proper format when creating your finished consignment.

Tip

Editing takes fourth dimension. Be sure to budget fourth dimension into the writing process to complete additional edits after revising. Editing and proofreading your writing helps you create a finished work that represents your best efforts. Here are a few more tips to recall about your readers:

Readers do not notice correct spelling, but theydo discover misspellings.

Readers look past your sentences to get to your ideas—unless the sentences are awkward, poorly synthetic, and frustrating to read.

Readers notice when every sentence has the same rhythm as every other sentence, with no variety.

Readers practice not cheer when you lot usethere,their, andthey're correctly, but they discover when you do non.

Readers will notice the care with which you lot handled your consignment and your attending to detail in the delivery of an error-free document.

Existence Articulate and Curtailed

Some writers are very methodical and painstaking when they write a first draft. Other writers unleash a lot of words in order to get out all that they feel they need to say. Do either of these methods match your fashion? Or is your composing manner somewhere in between? No affair which description best fits yous, the beginning typhoon of well-nigh every slice of writing, no affair its author, can be fabricated clearer and more concise.

If yous have a tendency to write likewise much, you will need to await for unnecessary words. If you accept a tendency to be vague or imprecise in your wording, you will need to observe specific words to replace any overly full general language.

Identifying Wordiness

Sometimes writers use too many words when fewer words will appeal more than to their audience and amend fit their purpose. Here are some common examples of wordiness to look for in your draft. Eliminating wordiness helps all readers, considering it makes your ideas articulate, direct, and straightforward.

• Sentences that begin withThere isorThere are
• Wordy . There are two major experiments that the Biology Department sponsors.
• Revised . The Biology Department sponsors two major experiments.
• Sentences with unnecessary modifiers
• Wordy . Two extremely famous and well-known consumer advocates spoke eloquently in favour of the proposed important legislation.
• Revised . 2 well-known consumer advocates spoke in favour of the proposed legislation.

Sentences with deadwood phrases that add together little to the pregnant. Be judicious when you lot use phrases such asin terms of,with a heed to,on the subject of,as to whether or not,more than or less,as far as…is concerned, and similar expressions. You tin can usually find a more straightforward way to country your point.

• Wordy . As a earth leader in the field of dark-green engineering, the company plans to focus its efforts in the area of geothermal energy. A report as to whether or not to apply geysers as an energy source is in the procedure of preparation.
• Revised . As a world leader in green technology, the visitor plans to focus on geothermal energy. Researchers are preparing a report nearly using geysers as an energy source.

Sentences in the passive voice or with forms of the verbto be : Sentences with passive vox verbs often create defoliation because the subject of the sentence does not perform an activity. Sentences are clearer when the subject performs the activeness and is followed by a stiff verb. Use strong agile voice verbs in place of forms ofto be, which can atomic number 82 to wordiness. Avoid passive voice when yous can.

• Wordy . It might peradventure be said that using a GPS device is something that is a benefit to drivers who have a poor sense of management.
• Revised . Using a GPS device benefits drivers who take a poor sense of management.

Sentences with constructions that can be shortened

• Wordy . The e-book reader, which is a recent invention, may become as commonplace equally the jail cell phone. My over-60 uncle bought an e-book reader, and his married woman bought an e-book reader, besides.
• Revised . The e-book reader, a contempo invention, may become as commonplace as the cell telephone. My over-60 uncle and his wife both bought eastward-book readers.

Choosing Specific, Appropriate Words

Most essays at the mail service-secondary level should exist written in formal English suitable for an academic state of affairs. Follow these principles to exist sure that your discussion pick is appropriate. For more information about give-and-take choice, seeChapter 2: Working with Words: Which Word Is Right?

Avert slang . Find alternatives tobummer,kewl, andrad.

Avoid language that is overly coincidental . Write about "men and women" rather than "girls and guys" unless you are trying to create a specific effect. A formal tone calls for formal linguistic communication.

Avoid contractions . Applydo non in identify ofdon't,I am in place ofI'm,take not in place ofhaven't, and and so on. Contractions are considered casual speech.

Avoid clichés . Overused expressions such asgreen with envy,face up the music,better late than never, and similar expressions are empty of significant and may not appeal to your audience.

Exist careful when you utilize words that sound alike but have different meanings . Some examples areallusion/illusion; complement/compliment; council/counsel; concurrent/consecutive; founder/flounder; and celebrated/historical. When in doubt, check a dictionary.

Choose words with the connotations y'all want . Choosing a give-and-take for its connotations is as of import in formal essay writing as information technology is in all kinds of writing. Compare the positive connotations of the discussionproud and the negative connotations ofarrogant andconceited.

Use specific words rather than overly general words . Detect synonyms forthing,people,nice,good,bad,interesting, and other vague words. Or employ specific details to make your exact meaning clear.

Now read the revisions Mariah made to make her third paragraph clearer and more curtailed. She has already incorporated the changes she made to improve unity and coherence.

Self – practice Practice 12.8

Answer the post-obit questions about Mariah's revised paragraph:

Read the unrevised and the revised paragraphs aloud. Explain in your own words how changes in word choice have affected Mariah'south writing.

Practise you hold with the changes that Mariah made to her paragraph? Which changes would y'all keep and which were unnecessary? Explain. What other changes would you have fabricated?

What effect does removing contractions and the pronoun ^you have on the tone of the paragraph? How would you characterize the tone now? Why?

Now return once more to your essay in progress. Read advisedly for problems with word choice. Exist sure that your draft is written in formal language and that your word choice is specific and appropriate.

Self – practice Do 12.9

R eturn once more to the start draft of the essay you have been revising. Bank check information technology for unnecessary words.

Effort making your sentences as concise as they can exist.

Brief Punctuation Review

Throughout this book, you have been presented with a number of tables containing transitional words. Table 12.2: Punctuating Transitional Words and Phrases shows many of the transition words you accept seen organized into dissimilar categories to help you know how to punctuate with each 1.

Table 12.2: Punctuating Transitional Words and Phrases

Joining Contained Clauses (coordination)
2 IND	Coordinating conjunctions: FANBOYS		Conjunctive adverbs and other transitional expressions
IND ; IND	IND , ____ IND		IND . _____, IND or IND ; _____, IND
	for		appropriately		after all
	and		later on a while		besides
	nor		anyhow		every bit a result
	just		at any charge per unit		at the same time
	or		also		consequently
	notwithstanding		for instance		for case
	and so		furthermore		hence
			henceforth		still
			in addition		indeed
			in fact		in other words
			in particular		instead
			in the first identify		too
			meanwhile		moreover
			nevertheless		nonetheless
			on the contrary		on the other hand
			otherwise		still
			then		therefore
			thus
Forming Dependent Clauses (subordination)
IND + DEP or DEP , IND
after	although	as		as if		every bit though
considering	earlier	if		in order that		since
so that	that	though		unless		until
when	whenever	where		wherever
*which	while	who		whom		whose

* This row contains relative pronouns, which may be punctuated differently.

Joining Independent Clauses

In that location are three means to bring together contained clauses. By using a mix of all iii methods and varying your transition words, you lot volition add complexity to your writing and improve the flow. You will also be emphasizing to your reader which ideas you lot desire to connect or to show things like crusade and effect or contrast. For a more detailed review of contained clauses, look dorsum at Chapter 3: Putting Ideas into Your Own Words and Paragraphs. Choice i Past simply using a semicolon (;), you can make the ideas connect more than if you lot were to utilize a period. If you are trying to reinforce that connectedness, use a semicolon because information technology is not as stiff of a pause equally a period and reinforces the link. Choice 2 When you lot want to link two independent sentences and increase the flow betwixt ideas, you tin can add a comma and a coordinating conjunction betwixt them. With coordinating conjunctions (FANBOYS: for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so), yous do not utilise a comma every time: yous would only exercise and so if what is on either side of the conjunction is a consummate judgement non just a phrase. You would not put a comma if yous are simply giving a listing of ii items. For case:

Comma:It is cold exterior, and then I wore an extra warm coat.

No comma: It is cold exterior. I wore an actress warm coat and gloves.

The offset example contains a complete sentence (independent clause) on either side of the conjunction so. Just the conjunction by itself or simply a comma by itself is non strong enough to bring together two independent clauses. However, if y'all put the two together with so, yous tin link the two. In the second example, and is simply connecting ii noun phrases: warm coat and gloves. What comes afterward the conjunction is not a complete sentence, and then you would not add a comma. To check if there is a consummate, independent clause, inquire yourself, "Can that office stand by itself equally a complete sentence?" In the case of the no comma instance, gloves is what comes after the comma. That is not a consummate sentence, only a noun: that means it is role of a listing and is not a complete sentence = no comma. The point of these examples was to prove you that you have to exist careful how you apply commas and conjunctions. As easy as it would be to just always toss in a comma, doing so would confuse your reader every bit what is and is not part of a list and what ideas are joined. Choice 3 Your tertiary choice is to join two independent clauses with a conjunctive adverb or another transition discussion. These words are very useful because they clearly show your reader how you would like your ideas to connect. If you wanted to emphasize contrasting ideas, you lot would use on the other hand or however. If you wanted to show crusade and effect, y'all could apply as a result. Refer to the tables you accept seen in other chapters to make certain yous are using the transitions you actually mean to exist using; and then, check Table 12.ii to ostend how y'all should punctuate it. Afterwards your get-go independent clause, you lot can choose to either use a menses or a semicolon, over again depending on how much of a link you want to show. You may also desire to consider how many long sentences you take used prior to this. If you utilise a lot of complicated sentences, you should probably use a menstruation to permit your reader to take a intermission. You must too remember to include a comma later the transition word.

Period:It is cold outside. Therefore, I wore an actress warm coat.

Semicolon: It is cold outside; therefore, I wore an actress warm coat.

Joining Dependent Clauses

If i of the clauses in a sentence is independent and tin stand on its own, but the other is not, y'all have to construct the judgement a trivial differently. Whenever you add a subordinating conjunction or relative pronoun to an independent sentence, you create a dependent clause—one that can never stand solitary. In the examples below, discover that when the independent clause comes get-go, it is strong enough to conduct the dependent clause at the terminate without any helping punctuation. Withal, if you lot want the dependent clause starting time, you must add together a comma between it and the independent clause: the dependent clause is not stiff plenty to back up the independent clause after without a piffling help. In the examples below, the contained clauses are double underlined and the dependent clause has a unmarried underline.

IND first:I wore an actress warm coat as it is cold outside.

DEP outset: As it is cold outside, I wore an extra warm coat.

Tip

If y'all want to start a sentence with Because, you demand to make certain at that place is a second half to that sentence that is independent. A Because (dependent) clause can never stand up by itself.

At the bottom on Table 12.2, you can see a list of five dependent markers that can be used a little differently. These are relative pronouns, and when y'all utilise them, you demand to ask yourself if the data is 100 per centum necessary for the reader to sympathize what y'all are describing. If it is optional, you tin can include a comma before the relative clause fifty-fifty if it comes afterward the contained clause.

Non – essential:As it is cold outside, I wore an extra warm coat, which was blue.

Essential: My coat which is blue is the ane I habiliment when it is actually cold exterior.

In the non – essential instance, the fact that the coat was warm was probably more important than that the coat was blue. The information that the glaze is bluish probably would not brand a deviation in keeping the person warm, so the data in that relative clause is not terribly of import. Adding the comma earlier the clause tells the reader it is extra information. In the essential example, the use of the aforementioned clause without a preceding comma shows that this information is important. The author is implying he has other coats that are not every bit warm and are not blue, so he is emphasizing the importance of the blue coat. These are the only five subordinators, or relative pronouns, for which you tin do this; every other one needs to follow the previous explanation of how to use these dependent transition words. If you do decide to add a comma with one of the relative pronouns, you need to think critically about whether or not that description is completely essential.

Using whatever of these sentence joining strategies is helpful in providing judgement multifariousness to assist your reader stay engaged and reading attentively. Past post-obit these punctuation rules, you volition also avoid creating sentence fragments, run-on sentences, and comma splices, all of which improves your end product.

Given how much work you have put into your enquiry paper, you will want to check for any errors that could distract or confuse your readers. Using the spell checking feature in your word processing program tin can exist helpful, it should not replace a full, careful review of your certificate. Be sure to check for any errors that may have come frequently for you in the past. Utilize Checklist 12.4: Editing Your Writing to assist y'all as you edit.

Checklist 12.4 : Editing Your Writing

Grammer

Are some sentences really sentence fragments?

Are some sentences run-on? How tin I correct them?

Exercise some sentences need conjunctions between independent clauses?

Does every verb agree with its subject?

Is every verb in the correct tense?

Are tense forms, especially for irregular verbs, written correctly?

Have I used subject, object, and possessive personal pronouns correctly?

Have I usedwho andwhom correctly?

Is the antecedent of every pronoun clear?

Exercise all personal pronouns concord with their antecedents?

Have I used the right comparative and peak forms of adjectives and adverbs?

Is it clear which word a participial phrase modifies, or is information technology a dangling modifier?

Sentence Structure

Are all my sentences uncomplicated sentences, or practise I vary my sentence construction?

Have I chosen the best analogous or subordinating conjunctions to join clauses?

Accept I created long, overpacked sentences that should be shortened for clarity?

Do I see any mistakes in parallel structure?

Punctuation

Does every sentence end with the correct end punctuation?

Tin I justify the apply of every exclamation betoken?

Have I used apostrophes correctly to write all singular and plural possessive forms?

Have I used quotation marks correctly?

Mechanics and Usage

Can I find whatever spelling errors? How tin can I right them?

Have I used upper-case letter letters where they are needed?

Take I written abbreviations, where allowed, correctly?

Can I detect whatever errors in the utilize of commonly confused words, such as to/likewise/two?

Tip

Be conscientious about relying too much on spelling checkers and grammer checkers. A spelling checker cannot recognize that you meant to write principle merely wrotemaster instead. A grammar checker often queries constructions that are perfectly correct. The program does not understand your meaning; it makes its bank check against a full general gear up of formulas that might not apply in each example. If you apply a grammar checker, have the suggestions that make sense, but consider why the suggestions came up.

Tip

Proofreading requires patience; information technology is very easy to read by a mistake. Set up your paper aside for at to the lowest degree a few hours, if not a day or more, so your heed will residual. Some professional proofreaders read a text backward and then they can concentrate on spelling and punctuation. Another helpful technique is to slowly read a paper aloud, paying attending to every word, letter, and punctuation mark.

If you need additional proofreading assist, inquire a reliable friend, classmate, or peer tutor to brand a last pass on your paper to wait for anything yous missed.

Formatting

Your finished assignment should be properly formatted, following the fashion required of yous. Formatting includes the style of the title, margin size, page number placement, location of the writer'southward name, and other factors. Your instructor or department may require a specific style to exist used. The requirements may be more detailed and rigid for research projects and term papers, which oft observe the American Psychological Clan (APA) way guide, especially when citations of sources are included.

To ensure the format is correct and follows whatsoever specific instructions, make a final check earlier you submit an assignment.

Cocky- do Do 12.10

With the help of Checklist 12.iv, edit and proofread your essay.

Checking Citations and Formatting

When editing a enquiry paper, it is likewise of import to check that yous have cited sources properly and formatted your document according to the specified guidelines. There are two reasons for this. Commencement, citing sources correctly ensures that you lot give proper credit to other people for ideas and data that helped y'all in your work. Second, using correct formatting establishes your newspaper as one student's contribution to the piece of work adult past and for a larger bookish customs. Increasingly, American Psychological Association (APA) way guidelines are the standard for many bookish fields. Use Checklist 12.5: Citations and Formatting to help.

Checklist 12.v : Citations and Formatting

Within the body of my newspaper, each fact or idea taken from a source is credited to the correct source.

Each in-text citation includes the source writer'due south name (or, where applicative, the organization name or source title) and year of publication. I have used the correct format of in text and parenthetical citations.

Each source cited in the body of my paper has a corresponding entry in the references department of my paper.

My references section includes a heading and double-spaced alphabetized entries.

Each entry in my references department is indented on the second line and all subsequent lines.

Each entry in my references section includes all the necessary information for that source type, in the correct sequence and format.

My paper includes a title page.

My paper includes a running caput.

The margins of my paper are set at one inch. Text is double spaced and prepare in a standard 12-point font.

For detailed guidelines on APA commendation and formatting, run intoChapter 9: Citations and Referencing.

Writing at Work

Following APA citation and formatting guidelines may require time and effort. Notwithstanding, information technology is good exercise for learning how to follow accepted conventions in any professional field. Many big corporations create a mode transmission with guidelines for editing and formatting documents produced by that corporation. Employees follow the mode manual when creating internal documents and documents for publication.

During the process of revising and editing, Jorge fabricated changes in the content and mode of his paper. He also gave the paper a concluding review to check for overall correctness and, particularly, correct APA citations and formatting. Read the terminal typhoon of his paper.

With the help of Checklist 12.five, edit and proofread your essay.

Although you probably do not want to wait at your paper again before you submit information technology to your instructor, accept the time to do a final check. Since you lot have already worked through all of the checklists above focusing on certain aspects at one time, working through ane final checklist should ostend you have written a potent, persuasive essay and that everything is the fashion you want it to be. As extra insurance you lot take produced a potent paper, you may even want someone else to double-bank check your essay using C hecklist 12.six: Final Revision. Then you can compare to see how your perceptions of your paper match those of someone else, essentially having that person deed equally the one who will be grading your newspaper.

Checklist 12.6: Last Revision

First Revision 1 : Organization
___	Do yous evidence you understand the consignment: purpose, audition, and genre?
___	Focus: Accept you clearly stated your thesis (your controlling idea) in the first paragraph?
___	Does your thesis statement grab the reader's attention?
___	Unity: Write your opening and closing paragraphs and place each topic judgement in between. You should take a "mini essay" with several different main points supporting your thesis.
___	Are your paragraphs organized in a logical manner?
___ ___	Does each topic sentence (per paragraph) logically follow the one preceding information technology?
	Do you lot take several points to support your thesis?
___ ___ ___	Bank check whether your paragraphs are organized according to a specific design.
	Would rearranging your paragraphs back up your thesis improve?
	Take you provided a comprehensive conclusion to your essay? Does information technology summarize your chief points (using different words)?
First Revision 2 : Paragraphs and Sentences
___ ___ ___ ___ ___   ___ ___ ___   ___   ___	Does each paragraph have main points and supporting details?
	Does each paragraph have merely ane chief bespeak?
	Is your approach or pattern used to develop your paragraph'southward chief point followed?
	Check that each judgement is relevant to the principal betoken of the paragraph.
	Are there several sentences giving details, facts, quotes, reasons, and arguments in each paragraph?
	Is each supporting item specific, concrete, and relevant to the topic sentence?
	Does each judgement logically follow the preceding one?
	Have you lot used transitional words to help the reader follow your thoughts? If non, add them.
	Paragraph length: If likewise brusk, develop further. If too long, break into smaller paragraphs or consolidate some sentences.
	Bank check your essay for tone and point of view.
Second Revision ane : Sentences and Usage
___ ___ ___ ___	Confirm that each judgement has a subject and a verb.
	Revise fragments, splices, and run-on sentences.
	Bank check modifiers to see if they accept been put in unclear places.
	Do y'all have a variety of sentence structures? (uncomplicated and complex)
___ ___   ___ ___ ___	Scan for bailiwick-verb understanding in each sentence.
	Are you lot consequent with your verb tenses? Check to make certain there are not any confusing or irrelevant tense changes.
	Make certain that words in lists are in parallel forms.
	Think through your pronouns; what is each ane referring to?
	Check for confusing "person" shifts inside paragraphs. Go along the subjects consistent.
___ ___ ___ ___   ___	Identify all verbs and change any that are passive to agile.
	Utilise stiff verbs not weak adverbs. Say something "is" not that it "may be."
	Check for wordiness.
	Scan to make sure you have not used the same word repeatedly in the same judgement and paragraph. Use a thesaurus.
	Look for and eliminate clichés.
2nd Revision two : Documentation
___ ___ ___ ___	Take you documented all your references?
	Accept you used in text citations every fourth dimension they were needed? Have yous formatted all your citations correctly?
	Is your references' section complete and correct according to the JIBC APA Style Guide.
Second Revision iii : Mechanics
___ ___	Check that all words and sentences are punctuated according to standard usage.
	Check for spelling and typographical errors.
Third Revision: Content
___ ___ ___ ___	Read your essay aloud. Do you believe what you have written?
	At this point do you lot develop your controlling idea in a style that makes sense?
	Have y'all provided enough background information? Is information technology relevant/necessary?
	Have you primarily used paraphrasing as opposed to direct quotations?

Y'all should at present be confident you have produced a stiff statement that is wonderfully constructed and that you will be able to persuade your audience that your points and point of view are valid.

Fundamental Takeaways

• During revising, yous add, cutting, motion, or change information in order to improve content.
• During editing, you take a second look at the words and sentences yous used to limited your ideas and ready whatever problems in grammar, punctuation, and judgement construction.
• Remember to budget time for careful editing and proofreading. Apply all available resource, including editing checklists, peer editing, and your institution'south writing lab, to improve your editing skills.
• System in a research paper means that the argument proceeds logically from the introduction to the body to the conclusion. It flows logically from one betoken to the next. When revising a research paper, evaluate the organisation of the paper equally a whole and the organization of individual paragraphs.
• In a cohesive research newspaper, the elements of the paper work together smoothly and naturally. When revising a research paper, evaluate its cohesion. In particular, check that information from research is smoothly integrated with your ideas.
• An constructive enquiry paper uses a way and tone that are appropriately academic and serious. When revising a research paper, check that the manner and tone are consistent throughout.
• Editing a inquiry paper involves checking for errors in grammer, mechanics, punctuation, usage, spelling, citations, and formatting.

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Source: https://opentextbc.ca/writingforsuccess/chapter/chapter-12-peer-review-and-final-revisions/

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